Second hand children's clothes - your thoughts please

I got given some lovely hand me downs for my lo yesterday, and have used hand me downs and second hand clothes since lo was born!
After reading through some parenting blogs and talking to other parents before, there's sometimes a real controversy between using second hand clothing on children.

What are your thoughts? Do you mind your children wearing second hand or hand me down clothes?

If I get given some hand me downs or spot second hand children's clothing that are in good condition, then I would happily accept them and let my lo wear them. It's environmentally friendly, it helps people who are in need and let's be honest how many times has your child worn the same outfit?

Let me know your thoughts. Please check out the new weekly poll, now posted on the blog :-)

Lucy x

Feeling anxious at new play groups

Continuing from my Facebook page, last week I made a poll on this blog asking;
"Do you feel anxious when going to a new playgroup?"
Out of 200%, 100% said "yes- strongly agree"
50% said "yes-agree"
And another 50% said "yes- sometimes"

So why do parents feel anxious when attending a new playgroup? Isn't it meant to be a time out, where your child gets to play and explore? A chance for you to get active and have fun too?

For me personally I always worry about sitting on my own and being shunned and ignores by other parents who are already in their little groups. I also worry about the other childrens behaviour and wether it will have an effect on my child.

I asked for your own personal experiences and thoughts on why you felt anxious. This is what you said;

"I used to get nervous too, and still do for the same reason of sitting there alone."

"I was bullied through primary and secondary school, so maybe that has something to do with it? I'am an anxious person anyway, and used to hate going anywhere alone."

"Yes! It's one of the reasons why I struggle to go! It's funny because I don't consider myself as shy when I'm on my own. But when with my son I feel vulnerable somehow. One time at playgroup I was so surprised to be invited over by some now good friends, up till that point I had gone a few times and it was the same scenario of sitting on my own, with my son. My son has visual impairments and wears glasses, so I feel even more vulnerable on those occasions. 
With regards to other childrens behaviour, there was a marked difference between their abilities and that of my son. On one occasion a little girl came over to play, I think she was curious. Her mother dragged her away and allowed her to play with other children. She may not have meant any malice, but that took me weeks to get over."

So what you recommend that playground and centers could do to help avoid these situations, where the parents feel alone and vulnerable, to help them feel more relaxed, welcomed and comfortable instead? 

I personally think the runners of the group or center should introduce you to the regular parents and children that attend, and invite you to sit with someone, whilst also sitting and chatting with you too to help break the ice.
Also could we as parents be more welcoming and kinder? Instead of staying in your normal groups why not invite a new person over too?
Let that be the next thing you do at your playgroup, and imagine yourself in those persons shoes.

What are your thoughts?

Lucy x

What's Inside A Mothers Head?

I red a brilliant post on Netmums last week about the goings on inside a mums head.
Loads of people were commenting on what was in theirs for that day and week, it was actually very therapeutic, and I actually sat down and wrote out my own spider notes with what was in my head, and here is what it consisted of;

- Is Ela eating enough?
- I must hoover and wash up
- Must get bread/milk/sugar/ petrol and calpol!
- Need to clean out the fish and the bird
- What do I make for lunch today?
- What do I cook for dinner today?
- Is Ela watching too much TV?
- I need to stick to my slimming world plan!
- Ramadan
- I need to bake more
- Need to find a house to rent in Crayford
- I really want a sewing machine/hair straighteners/new laptop
- I need a pedicure
- I wish I could go to the theatre
- I need to blog more, and write and scrapbook!
- I must give nan a call
- I must give my mother in law a call too, and my dad!
- I must take Ela to a play group

Ah the list is endless really, but writing it all down does feel so much better!

So what's your head right now?!
Comment and let me know.

Being A Lone Parent Even Though Your In A Relationship?

I know the title doesn't really make it sense, but it feels true for me. I have a lovely partner who's my little girls father, we genuinely never go without a thing we need, but sometimes I really do feel like when it comes to parenting I really am on my own.
I know my other half loves us to bits, but he really just doesn't get the whole responsibility and work of being a parent. After speaking to other mums I'm glad to realise I'm not the only one!

It seems that if your younger parents in a relationship with a child then 8 out of 10 mums do feel like their partners are not stepping up to the plate of parenting.

Mine likes to think that because he works that is his only responsibility and job, and that when he steps in the door he is off and needs to relax!
OK I really do get that he's been on his feet all day, and that he's had to put up with customers all day. I do get it, I remember working long hours too, but hey hang on! I'm still working, even more than I have ever done before! I never get time off, my job is literally 24 hours a day!
I change the nappies
I cook ALL the meals
I do ALL the cleaning, ironing, washing, hoovering, dusting, bed changes and  clean out the pets!
I am the potty trainer!
I am the nurse.
I am possibly the biggest multitask you'll ever meet along with the other full time mums.

I might be having the biggest rant but it's true and I really am not the only one.

When I become ill the whole household comes down in tatters! My partner genuinely doesn't have a clue on how to run the house.

So what can we do to get our partners to turn around and actually understand how much that we mums do and help?

I love my job as a full time mum, and I'm not complaining at all but my point is why does it feel so lonely even  though your in a relationship?

How do you feel about how your partners help you?

Best Things Of Being A Mum

So you read blogs, websites, magazines and more about the funny little cliches of being mum i.e Messy House, massive laundry piles, mummy tummy, ponytails etc but I’m not seeing many factors on the feeling of what is really great about being a mum. So here are my favourite things of being a mum;
The beautiful feeling of being pregnant, the first wiggles and kicks.
The constant background noise, it can never make you feel lonely again, and to me is a noise of comfort.
The constant running around, cleaning, preparing food, dressing bathing etc
Knowing that your baby depends on you, that never ending longing for his/her mummy.
The constant flow of love, the way your child laughs at you, follows you trys to copy you etc.
Those special hugs on the sofa, after a bath or after a big tantrum.
When your baby/child falls asleep in your arms or on you.
Seeing your baby/child smile in their sleep.
When they cry for you, and knowing they ONLY want you and no one else.
The first time they look up at you and say mum mum mumma…
When your child splashes you in the bath and screams with delight.
The funny feeling when they start to learnt that pinching your nose, pulling your hair and stealing your glasses are hysterical.
The fun hide and seek game where they've hidden the remote control or other object just for you to find.
There is so many more precious and beautiful moments that in everyday life you spend with your children, but don’t forget to always remember them and treasure them.

Five Among Friends

Welcome to a new feature, Five Among Friends, where myself & some of my closest blogging friends will be linking up for a a series of Q & A’s once every month.
We’d love to see your answers to the questions too – Just post your Q & A on your blog and then put your link in the Linky below and we’ll be sure to check them out! Don’t forget to check out other peoples answers too!
This week’s theme is Getting To Know You…..
This week’s questions were written by Hayley at Sparkles & Stretchmarks….
The Questions

1) Describe yourself in 5 words

Creative, Thoughtful, Devoted mummy, Friendly, Determined.
2) Why did you decide to start blogging?I started blogging because my passion is creative writing. I want to full fill my dream of becoming a writer, and what best way to practise everyday by writing! Also I love being able to share things with fellow parents, as my full time job is being a mum, it can be a lot easier if you know people are going through the same thing’s as you are.
3) How did you choose the name of your blog and why?

I wanted something different, but also something that matched well to my blog category, and after much thought it just popped in to my head and stuck.

4) Tell us something about yourself that you think might surprise us!

Within the last year I have moved 4 times!  

5) What is your favourite and least favourite thing about blogging?

My favourite thing about blogging is being able to express my ideas and creativity and being able to share it.
My least favourite thing about blogging is trying to build it up, and get as many viewers with all the competition out there it’s not easy, and trying to find a way to make a job/career out of it.

Don’t forget to check out the other girls answers too….
Alex – Bump To Baby
Jessica – Our Baby Blog
Kerry – Lived With Love
Lauren – Mrs Hippo & Me
Rachel – BeautyQueen UK
Join In With Our Five Among Friends Link Up!

Why Am I Always So Tired?

Recently I have had a very busy schedule and have had some major changes I have had to get used too, I also had a family birthday to attend too, which I have to travel on the train with my little girl and basically we stayed far to late. So anyway I thought that this could be part of my tiredness and also the fact that I’m a full time mum ;-) , But I was reading an article that continues feeling of tiredness could actually be a bit more than a busy schedule!
Tiredness – it is a constant state of being as soon as you become a parent and you often wonder “Why am I always so tired?”. It seems there’s never enough hours in a day to get things done, and everyone wants you to do stuff for them – the kids want you, the hubby/partner wants you, the boss wants you, the pets want you, your friends want you and Facebook wants you (or is that just me??). Bills need to be paid, housework has to be done, meals need to be prepped and cooked, and the shopping won’t do itself – and heaven forbid if you want any time to yourself! AND, somewhere you have to fit some quality sleep in there as well.  I am exhausted just thinking about it all!
Causes of Tiredness
Tiredness can have multiple causes, probably too many to list here, but the obvious ones us mums might experience are :
  • lack of sleep – that’s an obvious one for mums – especially when you have a baby!
  • poor diet – especially one high in fat and sugar;
  • lack of exercise;
  • being overweight;
  • hormonal problems – especially the thyroid and reproductive hormones;
  • poor immune system – illnesses such as the flu and glandular fever can increase fatigue;
  • poor fluid intake – dehydration makes you feel really tired all the time and zaps you of energy;
  • anemia – low red blood cells caused by lack of iron in the diet;
  • vitamin and mineral deficiency;
  • stress – mental, physical or emotional stress can all cause fatigue;
  • depression (either post-natal or clinical) or some other mental health disorders;
  • other major health problems such as heart disease, cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome or hepatitis;
  • overuse of alcohol, caffeine or other drugs (including over the counter or prescription medications);
  • work – if you work part or full time or are a shift worker this can cause excessive fatigue.
  • boredom.
My fatigue is worrying me – what should I do?
If you are at the point where you are at your wit’s end with tiredness and this constant fatigue is affecting your health, relationships and life in general, then it’s time to take some action. The first thing you need to do is see your GP – you need to have a check-up to find out what is causing the tiredness. The GP will want to ask you questions about your medical health history (including family health history), then do a physical exam plus some tests like a blood test or urine test. You may also be referred to a counselor or other specialist depending on the possible cause of fatigue.
Suggestions to Help Fight Fatigue
Here’s a few tips to help get some of your energy back and eliminate some of the tiredness. (If there is a medical cause to your fatigue these may help in conjunction with any treatment prescribed by your doctor.)
  • Sleep! – I know it can be easier said than done, but if you can get yourself more sleep then it’ll help. If you are a new mum, then forget the housework and nap whenever your baby naps. Go to bed early instead of sitting on the internet all night or watching TV – record your fave shows to watch them later! Rest, rest, rest!
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff! – If you can’t get all the housework done, leave it for later! Don’t stress about it! Just get done what you can and don’t run around like a blue-arsed fly trying to get the impossible done. Maybe set yourself a more realistic routine (including rest breaks) so you aren’t exhausting yourself.
  • Go on a health kick! - Cut down on fat and sugar and increase your intake of healthier foods like fruit and veg. Drink more water and less coffee and alcohol. Get a bit more exercise – even if it’s just a DVD workout or a walk. Go and have a massage or do some yoga.
  • Get out more! – Go and visit some friends or take the kids to a playground. Get out in the fresh air – it’s amazing what fresh air can do to rejuvenate the senses. Get out into the garden and plant a veggie patch. Do something to break up the boredom!
  • Get Help! – If you are struggling to get through the day, or even struggling to get out of bed in the morning, you may be depressed. Contact you’re GP!
  • Delegate! – List everything you do in your day to day life and see if there’s anything you can ask someone else to do (be it your partner, your kids, your friends or family) – there has to be someone around who can carry some of the burden so you aren’t doing so much. If the kids are stressing you out, see if someone can come and watch them while you go out for a while (or have a sleep!).
  • Just look after yourself! – Put your feet up when you can!

Tips For Surviving Local Selling Pages

Since having my daughter, I joined a couple of sell and swap groups on Facebook as it seems you can get a good old bargain, which of course you can’t beat a bargain.
But with all the page’s I seem to have found that there’s a lot of arguments, people not meeting up when it was confirmed, prices being the same as they are in the shops already etc
Such a shame really as these page’s could be really helpful and resourceful.
I had a bit of a funny comment once, I was looking for a specific item as me and my daughters nan was discussing that she was coming to the suitable age to have it. So I put a post on the page, and I had a lady comment saying she had what I wanted and she messaged me a couple of pictures and we agreed a price, time and meeting point. After a while I came to realise that I actually didn’t have room for this item and it wasn’t the right time to have the item yet, (as I’m expecting to move soon). So I messaged back the seller sending my apologies and why I had to cancel, and all I got was;
I just felt really awkward and uncomfortable.
Luckily I’ve sold a few things and have had good communication and meet ups.
I’ve recently just joined a new group specifically for baby items and all I can see is a lot of arguments and general bitching including the admins
They’ve posted a few strong comments to everyone.
These pages and groups should a place where you come to, to be able to feel comfortable, maybe even have a chat and to seek a bargain. Yet the feeling I get from these pages and groups are all very pushy, bitchy and pressurizing making me feel uncomfortable to inquire about something I’ve seen or am interested in.
So I have some tips to help you survive the swap and sell pages!
1. Only comment or inquire about an item that you’re truly interested in
2. Don’t confirm a meet up then not attend, if there’s a problem contact the seller/buyer ASAP
3. Stand up for yourself and don’t feel under pressure!
4. If selling any items make them reasonable prices, no point in paying RRP prices on things that are second when their the same price new!
5. Be polite! If someone cancels before you’re meet it’s not the end of the world, something must have come up!
6.Enjoy searching for for some banging bargains!

Katie Hopkins-Judging Children By Their Names.

Ok so big controversy going on today, after people have watched the TV programme “This Morning”. where Katie Hopkins admits that she does judge children by their names and that’s how she make’s decisions wether her children can or can not play or be friends with them.
She picked names such as;
and Apple as the names of which her children most definatley wouldn’t be allowed to associate with.
Katie Hopkins says it defines the child’s class and how they act in school.
I think that by judging a child by their names is a bit unfair as it’s not the child’s fault that they were given that name, but on another side a name can sometimes tell you what sort of family and people they are. I’m not saying it’s right to judge but there is a reasoning there.
When I was at school the naughty children would have the common names such as;


I’m still not judging as now they could be doing really well but from what I see on FB and other social sites they are looking and acting as if they were still at school.
I know Joshua’s, Kylie’s, and Shannon’s that have gone on to university are doing extremely well.
It’s not the name that defines the child it’s the way their brought up by their parents.
And things eventually became so heated that mother-of-two Holly very nearly lost her cool, asking her: ‘Why would you do that? Why would you do that?’
During the debate Katie admitted she had no time for ‘the Tylers, the Charmaines, the Chantelles, the Chardonnays,’ adding: ‘A name for me is an efficient way of working out what class a child comes from, and do I want my child to play with them.
‘It isn’t just about class, it’s probably about the fact they haven’t done their homework…there’s a whole set of things that go with children like that that is quite a disruptive influence in school.’
She added that children with ‘intelligent’ names were more likely to be ‘better


Play dates’ as they would be more likely to have educated parents.
Phillip Schofield, , briefly got his own back on Katie  after she revealed that she disliked geographical names, citing Brooklyn and London – pointing out: ‘You have a child called India.’
She retorted: ‘That’s not related to a geographical location. It is a very lovely name for a very lovely child.’
Guest Anna May Mangan, has called her an ‘insufferable snob’,with which she is now branded with that name.
Some comments from people on social net works have said;
Kelly Zervas
and yet she shares the name ‘Katie’ with ‘Katie Price’ – no end of class there?


She is the most vile person on the planet!!!
Judging kids by their names….really.
I’d love to hear you’r views, do you secretly judge your child’s friends names?
Watch the video here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edZjdgU0asM

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